I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
