I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
