So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
