Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
be right there i have to get my cape
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
