What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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