Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
