well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
