I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
