somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize