this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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