Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
