1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
