you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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