This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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