I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
