You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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