There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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