We should be called the Road Head Warriors
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
