just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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