I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
