I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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