dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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