went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I had to cum in my sink.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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