We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
