This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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