we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
