Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize