So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
