there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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