So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
