she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm at about main and main street
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
