My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
