So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
