I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
