addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
