what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
