Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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