oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
