they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No more Irish car bombs ever.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
