I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
