Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize