We're facebook friends in real life
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
