You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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