No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
