Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
