Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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