Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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