So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
