i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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