someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
