are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
sex in a hospital.. check
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
