It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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