did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
