He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
