No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
zippers are such a cool invention
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
