i don't like sucking hair
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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